Mystery

This is a toast to the elusive, the complex, the heavy, the uneasy, and the mysterious. This is a toast to the message of the historical Jesus and the living Christ before and since Jesus.

I am here to speak against the representation of faith as simple, easy or a practice of specific beliefs. For some this may work. Some may meet God here, but there is a movement of others that can't sit still long enough and can't look into history, ourselves, others or Christ long enough to not come away scratching our heads and needing to search more deeply.

This is for those people. The type that search, not for answers, but for more questions.

I grew up in church. I grew up being told to "just believe." I was told that faith was simple. I was told that prayer "works." That doubts and questions were "spiritual attacks." That searching out in the world, out in other religions would surely lead me astray and surely lead to damnation.

I was given the box that was safe and told the outside was the path to death.

Again, this may work for some, but I was too curious not to dangle my toes out of the box. I was too bored, uneasy, and empty not to look elsewhere. I was too effected by poetry, a mountain and people with broken bodies to not call them Holy. I found love where I wasn't supposed to go and I found peace in the dirty, which told me there was more to the story than I had been told.

Where is the easy or simple in a story where a Man's message leads him to death? Where is the comfort and piety when He asks us to do the same? How did a founder who asked more questions than gave answers create religions with so many rules? How did a founder that spoke almost solely in metaphors and pointed to only elusive things create religions that put boundaries on where we are and are not "allowed" to go (physically, mentally and spiritually) to meet Him and the Divine he speaks of?

There is nothing simple about the kingdom of God. There is so much ambiguity about a Kingdom that is here and there and also within you. There is nothing tangible about a God that is neither male nor female, neither fully spirit nor body. There is nothing you can hold about a totally unknowable and untouchable Being that also becomes incarnated and fully human and claims to be personal. There is so much elusive about a world that is harsh and broken, but also a manifestation of the ultimate Divine- beautiful and holy.  

There is so much mystery in the seen, let alone the unseen.

But people aren't okay with letting the mystery float above them, under them and through them. We want answers. Are we okay where we are? Do we have a one way ticket to Heaven? Do we have to give up our way of life, our comfort, our desires or can we mould everything to fit around us?

Where would not knowing lead us? Who would we be in so much unknowing? Would we have to think, stretch, grow or change?

That's too much work. We would rather make it simple. We would rather live comfortably in that box.

We don't want to stop and see the Divine in the flower; we barely stop long enough to notice the Holy in the blessed bread and wine. We don't want the Divine to lead us to the dying, ugly and sick. We don't want the Divine to lead us up a mountain, into the woods and through the wilderness. We don't want the Divine to lead us to fight injustice, oppression and poverty. And We definitely don't want to carry out a kingdom that leads to our death.

If scripture isn't living out these things; using our bodies, minds and souls to get lost in the mystery, than I don't know what it is. The words on the pages can have life, but they are meant to breath out enough life to carry it onward. They are not to just meditate on and fight over. They are but a part of the story. They are only part of The Word that has been spoken, created, and lived for billions of years and is meant to continue being spoken, created and lived.

There is a reason there have been so many wars and so many people have been killed over following these rules or not following these rules over the years.

It is complex. It is vast. It is not simple.

We could have intellectual arguments including all religions and sub religions, every historical and spiritual figure and personal story and we will always prove and disprove it all a hundred times over. We could analyze and talk in circles into eternity. I live to have these conversations,but I also live to drop the ideas and experience unknowing; full trust.

I recently heard a beautiful Aboriginal saying that begins by looking at all around us and claiming "the only thing that can explain all this is this very experience, this very moment."
I realized then they were experiencing the same force I was, just calling It a different name.

We can't know beyond experience.

There is still room for choosing personal truth. As Rob Bell says there is a place we "live from" everyday. No matter your theology, what is the story or truth that affects your day to day life. What determines your everyday choices; deeper than that, what drives you to find joy in life? No matter the argument, there is a personal truth we can cling to- a place we can "live from"- and still be okay with the unknowing of the ultimate Truth.

It is okay to not know. There is beauty in confusion. There is trust in mystery.
I want to see a world of more questions and less answers.
Questions make you vulnerable, questions lead you to others and questions lead you to the Divine.
Believing in answers leads to selfishness, power, isolation and ultimately violence.

It is hard to believe in one truth, simple and complete without driving yourself into isolation or colonialism. There is more to the story, and we are but a part of it. We are simply called to experience it all and keep taking steps forward.

Lead the way explorers, questioners and mystics.
Carry the Word and Kingdom in the places that are "out there."
Search in the dust. Dig in the dirt. Kiss the unclean. Embrace the dirty. Dance with children. Carry the dying. Hold hands with the enemy. Empathize with the sinners. Find the humanity in the Saints. Drink with the broken. Eat with those that are different.

Ultimately, see the Divine in each. Be okay with it all making sense somewhere within and at the same time all being totally unknowable.