We all want home.

This is not our home.
As our desires well up within and we cannot find the peace and fulfilment we so desperately search for the only conclusion is the this is not our home. That we were not made for the things we attach ourselves to in this world.
Jesus rarely answers the questions that are presented to him in the Bible. At least in the way we would see a question being answered, but that is because he was asked, what Henri Nouwen calls, "Questions from below." The things that consume our thoughts and time in this world do not have concern in the Truth of life. Jesus presents "answers from above." Bringing people back to Spirituality, back to eternity, back to home.
Home brings a sense of belonging. We are a part of something, a part of a family. A family that shares with us the things of our life; our interests, longings, pain, hope.
We want to belong and we want home because our humanity is conditioned to feel the severance of the fall. We get glimpses of connection here... Moments of God that make us desperate for more. Desperate to find home. It is difficult not to get caught up in the trivial of this life; yet, it is what keeps us farther from home and therefore from joy and contentment in the True.

I am searching for home.
We are all searching for home.
Every time we look to belong we look for home.
We just don't all realize that home is in Him.

In the depths of my soul is a song without words. A song with a melody thats desire is for a cleansing of all that breaks Your heart. 

Sound is all around.

We live in constant noise.

I decided I needed more silence.

I have felt more anxiety lately than I am comfortable with.

I need those moments with the Divine so I may say....

It is well.

Life happens

I was wondering how I got here.
How all these things came together.
How life was moving forward.

I saw a picture with an old lady holding a sign that said:
"Life is what happens when you are planning other things."

Carli, rest and trust.

August 15, 2011

When you trust your heart is believing in something.
It is a moment of faith and belief in something outside of self.
It will stretch you, take you on a journey.
No matter the outcome that trust was a good and beautiful thing, because of it's description; the belief in someone or something you cannot control.
When we inhabit ourself for too long without stepping outside to trust, to believe inevitably a part of our soul will die.
Trust. Belief. Community.
it's all intertwined and all a vital part of breathing.

Carli, you cannot plan it all and you cannot control it all.
You must trust. Life will happen.

The Lord will fight for you and you need only to be STILL - Bible

Lord, I want to sit with you and just exist in Your presence.

Jan 4, 2011
You meet me in times of bitterness, anger, and hatred. In times where it's hardest for me and when it's hardest to love me. When I am so full of this disease of spite, it actually hurts. In the times that most people would turn away and be repulsed by my ugliness; you accept me at full. You hold my small quivering body and empty it of all the noise. I am a vessel of noisy voices until you come to calm my spirit and bring me peace. It's hard  in the middle of my temper and brokenness to whisper "Abba, I belong to you," but it is what I must do. Tonight, even as I write this, I have distractions and my ugliness resurfaces. The ugliness that can be so hard to control; yet, you grab hold of it and say to me "I still love you and you are going to be okay." The simplest of words to put a stop to my logic and theologies. All the things that tell me I must make sense of the noise- You're simple words shake me awake. "Stop, I still love you and you are going to be okay."