Dependency.

I have learned about a very important word; this word is dependency.
The very word an alcoholic man said he found in AA opposed to church.

When the world falls apart around you; when your own defenses have fallen through you have no other choice but to be dependent.
When we ignore our own need for each other we are also ignoring our need for God.
And we do this.
Maybe the sinners purpose is to lead the saints to the meaning and importance of dependence.

I have found this so true in my own life.
I need a community around me and I need God.
There are no if’s, and’s or but’s about it.

I always talk about how I need the people I work with as well.
They have taught me so much about myself and what it means to be human, and how to live in God’s goodness and grace.
There was a study that was done to find out what was the point of the lives of those with disabilities.
Those conducting the study at the end had a list of things they had learned from the experience of working closely with those with disabilities.
The list included things like:
“I learned to appreciate the little pleasures in life”
“I learned about myself”
“I’ve learned to appreciate the slightest bit of progress”
“I finally feel like I am needed”

I immediately knew what these people were feeling.
Working with people that have disabilities and especially those with significant disabilities every sign of progress you find joy in, and when you are so in tuned with looking for that tiny bit of progress; you are trying so hard for others to see that soul you know is so beautifully and wonderfully made, you really find yourself, find what it is to be human and how in need you are of connection.

Henri Nouwen wrote
“Everyone who returns from a long and difficult trip is looking for someone waiting for him at the station or the airport. Everyone wants to tell his story and share his moments of pain and exhilaration with someone who stayed home, waiting for him to come back.”

We have that within somewhere. That need to connect. We are not made to be alone. We all need someone.

We want to believe that what hurts us has meaning to someone else.

In moments where this desire is strong; I know I can be held by my heavenly Father. 

It sometimes takes a lot of mistakes and a lot of moments of brokenness before I admit this need of

dependency, but it inevitably comes. For us all.

I believe the thorn in Paul`s side that he so often brings up in the New Testament and that is so often debated

was God`s way of keeping Paul dependent.

The very thing you hate about yourself is the very thing God uses to make you dependent on Him.

I heard about a picture of sin and grace like this; it is like you are on the end of a string held by God and every

time you sin God cuts the string, but His inexhaustible love for you makes him retie that string as He picks you

up in your moment of failure and need with His grace, as the string gets cut and retied it gets shorter and

shorter. Soon those very experiences of sin actually bring you closer to God as you need his grace more and

learn how to be more dependent.

I don't think we are the only ones who need us to be dependent on God, I think God needs us to be

dependent on him too. His desire is for us, and when we are not living in connection with Him the very heart

of God is broken and aches for us.
God desires for us to be waiting at the airport for him too.

It is like this symbiotic dance between us and the Divine and our need for each other.

Dependency on each other and God is what makes thriving reality.
I hope to be someone who lives truly knowing the importance of dependency.
To live in community with my brothers and sisters. To live embraced in God's grace.
I hope we all come to know this importance.