My Love

    I was flipping through my journal last night and came upon one of the first things I wrote about Ben and I:

Feb 7, 2011

   “ Tonight I have something I must express here. It is time for me to be honest, vulnerable and fear free, to say I am falling for Ben on a completely new level of intimacy, connection and care then I have yet to experience. He is the first person I would sacrifice all things of self for and to live in symbiotic movement with. He is beautiful and what we have shared and could share is simply and peacefully beautiful. I have never been so free in a faith and hope of something of the flesh; fear is just not present. It feels so ordained I dare not fight or doubt it. I haven’t tried to plan, motives have not been questioned, and thoughts of the pain it could cause have just been ignored. There is just a trust that God has it, even in the fragile state of age difference, distance and little time. There are no doubts about where it is going, because it is not us who are pushing it forward. To deny these feeling is to deny where God wants me; I feel.”