Daisy Buchanan in the Great Gatsby said "That's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool"
I have been finding that I have a real heart for women and seeing women succeed, despite the kinds of pressure and confusion that every woman has to deal with.There have been a few key moments that have happened in the last, basically year, of my life that I believe God has been allowing me to be a part of to really piece together this message.
I firstly, have been personally hurt by the sexualization of women. I couldn't even get away from it as I walked through the mall yesterday and saw the kinds of clothes that are "in style" for women. And I can't get away from it on a daily basis, because I can no longer turn on my TV or computer without seeing someone's daughter, mother, friend made into nothing more than a pinup for someone else's fleeting desires . As a woman, wife and daughter, I find it painful to see these images that are every where and finding their way into the self images of the women seeing them everyday.
The other thing that really affected me was that Dove video that come out earlier this year, everyone had their opinions about it, but I thought it just highlighted the fact that our society does truly find beauty in the shallow and the shell. As each woman was told that others found them more beautiful then they had previously thought they were, they were still told that their beauty was found in their outward appearance, that is not even bringing up the fact that every "compliment" in the video was described as "thin face or chin", without any diversity among the women all that was really stated was there is a very westernized idea of appeal out there and woman are expected to live up to it.
The third thing for me, was realizing that we haven't come as far as I thought when it comes to equal opportunities, respect and appreciation. In the church especially, I feel like women have their "roles" and men have theirs. Speaking nothing against my church, but earlier this year we had a business meeting and voted in our board. In that meeting the two women that were nominated were the first two voted out. This had a huge impact on me personally. It hurt, and to be quite honest, made me angry. I felt like since woman made up half of the church we should get half of the say. The other thing that made me realize this was during class one day a professor of mine told us that a male professor had written an article, as she read it in class, my heart broke. The core message of the article was that rape wasn't always a bad thing because "how else would ugly girls get the opportunity to have sex." As a lash back to this article a female floor in the residence put up a sign that read "No means no," shortly after this poster another one went up on a male floor saying "No means get on your knee's b****." How far have we really come?
Ever since these few moments, all I have wanted to do is tell every woman I could what they're worth, as exactly that, a woman. With strength and grace and compassion, we have nothing to prove, but ourselves against who we really want to be. I decided that to deal with this problem, that seems to be an eternal one, it makes no sense trying to tell men what women are worth, but building up women and their identities in more than just that pinup suit and expectations of others, including men. Feminism should be about knowing who you want to be, someone that is good, honest and real and going for that person and not the one that is expected of you.
We still live in a fairly masculine world, and even biblically there seems to be a lean towards the masculine. In another moment of complete honesty, I always was a bit angry with God about that. But then I began really looking at who God is and really looking at who Jesus is, both man and woman are made in God's image, and when you take a good look, I would say God has some pretty strong female qualities. His never ending grace, compassion for the broken, nurturing heart, and bold strength are in every woman I have ever met, even if she doesn't even know it.
Insecurity is something I have always dealt with, and this past year it has been worse than ever.
Insecurity is a flaw that has been brainwashed into every little girl that grows up and isn't shown the qualities that truly make her a work of art, qualities that have nothing to do with the shell, but rather go as deep as being the daughter of a King and as deep as having the qualities of this King within her, including His strength.
Even though Daisy's statement may have been true for the past, we could change that for the future.
I have always loved Dustin Hoffman, and this video gave me the final push to say something, please say something too, whatever is on your heart:
